It seems just like yesterday Nettie and I said “I DO”. We were so young, she was 21 and I was 22 yet we were so in love. After 14 years I have figured out that you can not only be “in love” but that you have to continually work to love each other unconditionally.
We had a great wedding at an odd time like 2:35 or something like that because we just wanted break traditions. We also had pictures before the wedding but I loved that I went to the front and her father walked her down the isle for the pictures so we could see each other then take the pictures. Our campus minister Mike Trent performed the wedding and one of the neat things Mike does is that he had us up on the stage facing the crowd and he was down at the bottom looking up to us. He said this day is about you, not me and I want them to be able to see you. One of my pet peeves is that people have a ring bearer and they put fake rings on the pillow so guess what we put on the pillow, the real wedding rings. The ring bearer was my 3 year old neighbor but all he had to do is walk down the isle with the rings. When the best man pulled the rings off the pillow he handed the wrong one to the maid of honor. When they went to pass them back they dropped Nettie’s wedding ring and it came very close to going in the air vent but the flower girl reached down and picked it up. The rest of the wedding went fine and it was actually very short. I believe that we were leaving the church after the reception after a little over an hour from the start time of the wedding.
We have lived in Kansas, Texas, and now Indiana through the last 14 years. Nettie has been so supportive of the ministry and a major part of it and I know that I could not do it without her. We enjoyed the first 6 years without kids, just getting to know each other. We have enjoyed the next 8 with kids and have enjoyed transitioning as they have grown and got involved in many things. We have also had our cat Tuff around all 14 years but just over the past few years I have become allergic to him, if I pet him I break out and get itchy eyes. That stinks because I enjoy petting and holding that big cat.
To close I just want to share a few things I have learned the past 14 years of Marriage.
- God must be in the center of the relationship- God has created each of us and has given us the union of marriage and so why would we keep Him outside of something He has created. Growing together spiritually is a very incredible part of marriage.
- Communication is key- There are to directions for communication talking and listening. You must have both from both people to have a healthy marriage.
- Finances do not have to cause problems- It does not matter whether you have no money or lots of money you still need to love each other and focus on each other and not how much money you have.
- Continue to go on dates- Just because you are married does not mean you quit going out and just because you have children does not mean you don’t go out, and just because you have no money does not mean you can not do something for free together as your date. Go out on a date just the two of you.
- Your spouse comes first- your spouse come before everything except God. You were married before you had children and will continue to be married even after they leave the house so make sure not to neglect your spouse.
- Learn to have healthy disputes- This does not mean you should ever start fights for no reason but when there are disagreements learn to be able to communicate without exploding and digging up the past but deal with the key issue. Do not leave things unresolved or they become bigger than they really are.
- Sex- Have it as often as you can and do not deprive each other. God has given us this beautiful thing of bringing two people together in the most intimate way and we must not defile it or deprive it.
- Communication is key- I know I have said it once but it is very important.
I pray that Nettie and I will grow old together and that this is just the first 14 years of many. Thank you Nettie for being such a wonderful wife.
